five things you won't learn in college.

1. Never trust a Junta agreement. The Junta in Myanmar recently agreed to allow foreign aid workers to help cyclone victims “as long as they were genuine humanitarian workers.” Since when did we trust anyone who’s title was “supremo”? There’s a reason why we usually don’t help out Juntas, and I think the explanation lies within the meaning of the word “Junta”: a small group ruling a country, esp. immediately after a coup d'état and before a legally constituted government has been instituted (thank you dictionary.com!). Generally if someone overthrows a government and wants humanitarian workers, that’s what we call (a cannibal?) an oxymoron. Don’t trust oxymorons (you can’t spell it without “moron”); don’t trust Juntas.

2. Earthquakes stop protests. Although China has been devastated by the recent earthquake, and many people have lost their lives, families, homes, etc., the protests against the Beijing Olympics have ceased. It shook the rebellion right out of their systems.

3. Don’t compare your stubbornness to someone’s assassination. Hillary compared her never-give-up-attitude (she’s not programmed to give up) to Robert Kennedy being shot, because both the shooting and the end of Primary season happen in June. I’m sure Mr. Kennedy wouldn’t have given up living if he didn’t die from the gunshot. He was shot in his fucking head. She is just mathematically unlikely to win the Nomination. There’s kind of a difference.

4. Don’t go to a Church which has a crazy Pastor. Grandpa McCain and his Pastor have finally gone their separate ways, after the Pastor was quoted saying that “God sent Adolf Hitler to help Jews reach the Promised Land.” I don’t know where Reverend Hagee studied about WWII (the trenches), but from what I learned in my history books, Hitler killed off many Jews. Unless by “leading” he meant “sending them to God in packs early”, I think he’s a bit off his rocker.

5. Don’t take an aphrodisiac if it’s made out of frog venom. Someone apparently died from it. And it’s illegal. Wouldn’t you think that it’s common sense to not ingest something with the words venom and illegal attached to it? Besides, it looks like a piece of shit. Literally. It’s been described as a “hard, brown substance.” If something’s made out of venom, is banned by the FDA (unlike cloned meat), and looks like it was secreted from an animal (like certain tropical coffee beans), you probably shouldn’t swallow or even rub it on yourself.

[Lola.]