if only harry potter was real...

A long time ago (today), in a galaxy far, far away (Washington DC), the President of the United States of America decided to take action on something (that does not involve helping countries meet certain political apocalypse) during his last few months in office. For those of you who may have already forgotten since last week, President Bush is actually talking about doing something productive. He yelled at Congress for not doing anything yet about our little economic issues. I’ve never heard the man even raise his voice before, so maybe when Mr. Bush yells he simply doesn’t laugh or make up words. Well, he said that the old guy and the woman had a good idea with the whole weekend gas tax suspension (do I smell a new commercial?), but Mr. Bush wants a long-term fix. Other than forcing Alaskans to give us their oil (wait a minute… they belong to the US, so technically they have to share), he… had no other ideas. We’ve grown up together, Mr. Bush and this country, and we’ve gotten to know each other during these last eighty years. We should know when he has no clue what’s going on. And, well, sorry sir, but the gig’s up. When you say, “I’m open to suggestions,” you’re really saying, “I--- I dunno what to do! Someone come up with a good-sounding plan that’ll never happen, and I’ll take credit for it!”
The GDP report just magically happens to be due tomorrow (guess how many people won’t show up to class. “My printer broke…”), which can tell us if our country is in the… r-word. Seeing as Mr. President is also an optimist, he commented, “I think they’ll show we’re in a very slow economy.” Woah, woah, hold on. That's not the kind of optimism I was thinking of. He told the world that we’ve got a case of the slows. What an asshole. Who does that man think he is, spreading rumors about how slow we are? Nobody’s ever going to take us seriously as a country anymore! Not only that, but he also claims, “If there was a magic wand to wave, I’d be waving it… But there is no magic wand to wave right now.” That’s a lie. The next Harry Potter movie should be coming to cinemas soon. He’ll swish and flick us out of this mess- just you wait.

[Lola.]