never give up, never surrender.

Today, Mr. Edwards (remember him? He was the Democrat who dropped out of the race a while ago…) was asked by the press if he would be willing to run for Vice President again if Hilly/Mr. Obama (circle the candidate who will run in the Presidential Election, or if you’re in denial, circle whoever you choose to believe is the winner) were to ask/beg him. And, invoking the spirit of Amy Winehouse, his answer was, “no, no, no.”
That’s right, kids! Little Mr. Edwards refuses to run for Vice President with anybody. That’s his way of telling us, “Bitch, please!” Because, as we know, if one wants to only be the guy who sits on his ass while the President does all the important stuff, one wouldn’t have run for President in the first place. Said person (“one”), i.e. Mr. Edwards, obviously didn’t want anything but the big boy cup, so back the fuck off. Go away, press. He doesn’t want to drink out of the VP sippy cup, he wants a mother fuckin’ glass.
So, y’know what? Go, Mr. Edwards! Woohoo!! You tell the other kids in the sandbox that you don’t want to watch them drink their juice, tell them you want the goddamn juice yourself, out of that tall, breakable glass! But you wouldn’t break that glass, because it’s dangerous to step on.
Also, my best friend in the whole wide world, Hilly, says that she can win. She’s a winner. But don’t worry, everyone’s a winner. Except for those who aren’t quite winners. At least her husband will see that she’s a winner on the inside, and that’s what counts.
… … … At least he’ll say all that philosophical bullshit and take a few checks while he’s at it.

[Lola.]