look who's on top now.

I know the last thing you want to hear about is the Primaries, because somehow watching an entire season of America’s Next Top Model suddenly seems like it only lasts seconds compared to the Primaries’ length (it’s only June, by the way). I promise to not actually talk about it any longer.
But even if (when I say “if”, I mean “though”) Hillary won’t win the Nomination for the General Election, she will still come out on top. She has recently been voted the Most Powerful Woman in NYC (if by “most powerful”, you mean “most likely to bite off a bat’s head to raise money for her plastic surgery campaign”, then I totally agree). Here’s the list of Most Powerful Women in NYC:
1. Hillary Rodham Clinton
2. Anna Wintour
3. Erin Callan
4. Mary Ann Tighe
5. Christine Quinn
6. Tina Fey
7. Amy Poehler
8. Randi Weingarten (I don’t trust people with Nazi last names)
9. Barbara Walters
10. Patti LuPone
I highly disagree with this. Regardless of what kind of list it is, Oprah should always be at the number one spot (because she could crush me gives people stuff for free). So, I’ve compiled my own list in which I surveyed 100 people (just myself) about who they (I) think the Ten Most Powerful People in the World are.
1. Oprah. Please give me something. I put you at the top of a list.
2. Stephen Colbert/Rain. It should’ve been a pants-off dance-off.
3. Jon Stewart. If you pretend “3” is “1”, will you give me a job at the Daily Show?
4. The guy who invented the Pringles can. It’s more sanitary than digging in a bag.
5. The guy who invented Post-Its. I would’ve forgotten to make cupcakes if it wasn’t for a Post-It note that my mother left.
6. Gordon Ramsay. He’s been sued, like, 50 times, and still manages to keep his job.
7. Brian May. He still hasn’t succumbed to using conditioner. Way to stick it to the man.
8. Ralph Nader. He’ll still run for President even after he’s dead.
9. Ben Barnes. God, he’s hot. Oh, sorry, I drooled a little on your keyboard.
10. John McCain. He’s so old, it almost makes his racism okay.

[Lola.]