President Bush (yes, he is still living in that big White House) has now become a great friend of French Prime Minister Nicolas Sarkozy, because of one simple fact: they both dislike Iran. Recently, Iran declined an offer of civilian nuclear power from the European Union and the United States in exchange for stopping their artistic uranium-enriching projects. First of all, all History majors know that it’s a bad idea to align with the French because they tend to give up in the middle of a fight (Sarkozy doesn’t even sound French, but it’s safe to assume that he surrenders like one), so what the hell is the President doing (other than nothing in particular)? And plus, they’re going about it all wrong. According to old movies I’ve seen (and racist assumptions that I’ve heard), Arabic people like concubines. We should’ve offered Iran women in exchange for them giving up Uranium. I know for a fact that when you’re dealing with foreigners, you have to do things their way (and enrich the Uranium yourself?).
President Bush and Prime Minister Sarkozy discussed their feelings during a cozy little dinner at Elysee Palace. Seeing as Mr. Sarkozy is most likely a French elitist (the worst kind of elitist, by the way), their candlelight supper probably consisted of several courses including escargot, foie gras, filet mignon, soup du jour, baguettes, and lots of other French-sounding foods. Sometime during that romantic night out, the President said, “… We want the Iranian people to flourish and benefit.” He probably means it in the exact same way that Iraq has flourished and benefitted from the five-year-long party we’ve been throwing over there.
Who’s up for some international beer pong (when I say “beer pong”, I mean “bomb pong”)?
[Lola.]
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