future predictions.

I’m only a part-time psychic, so don’t blame me if I’m wrong. Ever. Because the word “lame” is in “blame”, and you don't want to be lame, now, do you?

Since the Democrats still don’t know what the fuck is going on, and they probably won’t until Election Day (“Surprise! Guess who you can vote for today!”), I’ll just talk about both of our little Democratic buddies so nobody gets upset and cries that I left anyone out. If Mr. Obama wins the Presidential Election, he’ll probably get shot. Lots of black people end up getting shot, like rappers and gang members. Remember, President Lincoln was shot, and he wasn’t even close to being black, but he did like black people. And if you’ve forgotten your wonderful American history, it wasn’t smart to let white folks know that you liked black people. That’s what got you shot back in those pre-Civil War days.
So, moving on, if Mrs. Clinton becomes President, as stated truthfully by Stephen Colbert, she’ll start a lesbian witch covenant and take over the world with her lesbian witch baby army. He also said something about turkey basters, but we won’t go there. Plus, she’s a psycho robot bitch. I honestly believe that Mrs. Clinton is a robot. Why hasn’t she cried again? Because she doesn’t want her robot eyes to rust. Case closed.
Mr. McCain… what to say about Mr. McCain…? To start, he’s an old white guy. And when I say old, I mean he’s probably about to die. We’ve had a long history of old white guys as our Presidents. So he’ll either be in office for a few days before croaking, or he’ll have a massive sex scandal involving Hungarian prostitutes and be impeached. And he won’t be the only one in the situation who’s fucked. We all will be.
So, we have a possible shooting, a possible lesbian witch army, and a possible death and/or sex scandal.
That leaves us with one choice, and my spidey senses tell me that this is ultimately what’s going to happen.
Ralph Nader will win the Presidential Election.
Seriously. The man’s been trying since, what, 1900? Fate will just cut him some slack, the other candidates are going to drop out of the race, and then Mr. Nader will finally be our man.

[Lola.]