tut tut, it smells like an invasion!

The Olympics have been over for, what, two weeks? And now there’s something in the news about Russia vs. Georgia (that makes it sound like professional wrestlers). Like the sharing, kind-hearted, eager-to-help nation we are, the government is sending out a great man who will spread hope and support poor Georgia, and now Ukraine, against their conflict with Russia. No, that man is not Barack Obama. Not yet. It is Dick Cheney, who is known for his warmth and… oh, fuck it. Sending Dick Cheney into a war zone is just begging for trouble. Georgia is asking to be shot in the face. With our luck, our still-President Bush and his cohorts will somehow come up with a reason as to why we need to protect and stabilize Georgia and Ukraine’s borders ourselves.
Actually, here are the President's three reasons why we should go in ourselves:
1. Nobody can find countries on a map. Therefore, we can invade anywhere in the world- especially Mexico- and for all the rest of the country knows, we’re in a district in Baghdad.
2. They don’t have Wal-Marts. Actually, I don’t know if they do. But if they don’t have a Wal-Mart over in Georgia, they need one. And even if there is already one, it needs to be bigger. Yeah.
3. Everybody in that Russia-area have the same names. They’re all “Stravinsky” and “Smirnov” and “Ivanov” and stuff. I have no idea how to pronounce them either. Russians and Georgians need normaler names, like “Jones” and “Smith”. Now those are good, patriotic last names.
4. Oh, and, uh, they're still Communist.
Case closed. Good luck to whoever has to get us out of this one in January.

[Lola.]